Yes Yes... I know that this drawing is in my sketchbook, but I had some thoughts I wanted to express about it and my continued search for my artistic voice...
My first thought is with the expression; I guess I am going for a look of tortured acceptance... perhaps a sublime veneration of the ecstasy of agony? it's not dis-similar the the almost vacant look a lot of Christian artists give to the crucifixion scene. I am not really sure but I think that the passive look she has fits with what I think I want to say, which I am not really sure of ;)
I guess I am exploring ideas and themes rather than concerning myself with producing "finished" work... I am not entirely sure of WHAT my "voice" is (still)... I know that there is a lot of me in the ideas and emotions in this but the last thing I want to do is to try and analyze them too much; it concerns me that if I do I will spend too much time considering the feelings behind something rather than just letting it flow out. Sort of like when you dam a river; you increase the flow but only in limited amounts... the pressure increases and so does the risk of catastrophic failure. If the river can just flow, sometimes wonderfully subtle and unforeseen courses can develop (and no towns get destroyed) ... I actually just came up with that analogy on the fly as I wrote it, but it makes sense to me!
I want to try to balance the horrific and the beautiful (as I have said so many times already). It seems that there are those who can create the horrifying and shocking images but they are not "beautiful". Then there are those who can create gorgeous scenes and images, but often they tend to be boring; and if not boring, then have a rather tame subject. Now, bare in mind I am not talking about old masters... more about people who create contemporary art; peers and the like ;)
I guess that's why I am attracted to scenes such as this one I am currently working on; it is not inherently ugly or gory, but is a bit graphic. It's also not a direct parallel to anything in reality; but it does directly correspond to "inner conflict" (as corny as that sounds) which is why it's metaphorical.
Too often I think of words, ideas, concepts and then forget to write them down. I keep meaning to get a small note-book to keep with me but have not. Not procrastinating, just forgetful! ;)